Words:Life or Death

As a Christian, the bible teaches me that we have the power to speak life or death with our words.  So often we throw words around left and right and don't even really think about the meaning or how they may affect someone else.  We say things like "I am sorry" or "I love you" or "I am here for you" etc without really thinking about what we are saying sometimes and often there are no actions to back these up and they just become empty words and broken promises.  Then sometimes we speak harsh or unkind words with out thinking about the lasting affect they may have on the person they are spoken to or about.  When a little kid is told often enough they are dumb or worthless and can't do anything right, pretty soon they start to believe it and give up trying.  When someone is told they are fat and ugly, they begin to start to think they are nothing.  Our society has become so obsessed with obesity that in their attempt to do a good thing in fighting it sometimes if not careful they are making the people who need the help a target group for being bullied and looked down on.  I was once told that they are two ways to say everything and one of them is nice.  I believe the truth needs to be spoken, as an obese person, I need to know that my weight and the decisions I make have an affect on my health, but the people who want to tell me this need to be sure it is said kindly.  I am not a horrible person who just sits around eating because I want to make my health bad or be a drain on society or inconvenience anyone.  A lot of times we have long stemming emotional issues why we eat they way we do and it is a battle that unless you have tried to fight you have no idea how hard it is or how long it may take.  Sometimes words that were spoken to help, because of the way they are said or the words chosen actually do more harm.  Let me share a true story with you on that.

When I was a senior in high school I was a little overweight probably 180 lbs or so.  I thought I was heavy because a family member often told me how I needed to lose weight and how much better I would be if I did etc.  I am sure I could have stood to lose a few pounds to be even healthier, but I was in pretty good shape, I played softball on the high school team and could walk and run and do a lot of things I can't enjoy now.  Then at my high school graduation open house, this family member stood before my table of honors and achievements I had acquired in high school and looked at me and told me if I would lose weight over the summer they would pay me so much per pound as an incentive.  Now I believe this person meant this in a good way as an incentive to help me however not knowing me as well as they should have, this was not how I saw it.  To me they were saying that none of the awards and achievements meant a thing, I was just the fat girl who needed to lose weight, then the boys would like me.  I replayed those words over and over in my head until I stopped caring, figured nothing but my weight would ever matter.  I stopped exercising, stopped caring about what or how much I ate and started consuming a lot of soda.  I kept this up for years, drowned my hurt in food, good ole comfort food, until I am now over 400 lbs and wow how hard it is to battle back to a healthy weight.  Now let me say right off, did this family members words make me gain weight and get fatter, NO, it was my choice to let the words affect me that way.  We are all responsible for our own actions and we should not blame others for our choices, I put the food in my mouth and I ignored the kind warnings of other family members and friends over the years, my point here is that we never know how our words will affect others and this family member of mine has often suggested and talked to me about my weight and needing to lose and most of the time it has a negative affect perhaps because of that day so many years ago, perhaps because I feel like all I am to them is "the fat girl", I am not sure why other than I sometimes can still feel the hurt from that day at my open house.  So please when speaking to anyone, think about what you are saying and are you saying in the kindest way possible and also in the proper setting and lastly does it really need to be said at all. 

Welcome to my blog

I am new to the world of blogging so bare with me as I get use to this.  I felt it was time to speak out and so this blog was born.  In case you have not guessed yet I am an overweight person, one in fact who is tired of society treating us as if we are less than human or second class citizens.  I have heard and read comments far too often lately that are just hurtful to those of us who are on the chunky side, so I decided to step out and be a voice for those are on the heavy side.

First let me say that I am by no way promoting obesity and that I do think eating healthy and exercise are important and that it is important to be as healthy as you can.  What I am saying is that we all have different reasons for why we are overweight and I would venture to say most wish that they could lose weight and be healthier but it is not always that easy.  Whatever the reason for our overweightness we should not be made fun of, talked down to, treated meanly and so on.  We are just like the alcoholics, drug addicts, smokers and many others who have habits that are hard to break.  When you have 100+ pounds to lose it is not as easy as cutting out sweets for a few weeks or changing your diet for a week or two or maybe stepping up your exercise routine for a month.  When you have that much weight to lose it is a battle and it can be a life time to do it.  I can not speak for all overweight people by any means but I hope to speak up for them in general and to get people to start thinking about how they speak to them and about them.  I have been appalled at some comments I have read lately by Christians that were just down right rude to overweight people.  I was always taught we were to hate the sin but love the people, hard to love someone you are making fun of.  I think our country needs to get better at not taking pot shots at or making fun of and putting down people in general.  My hope is that this blog is a place for overweight people to unite and be encouraged and for others to see us as real people with feelings and see that maybe they could and should be kinder.    Life is all about choices and my hope is that when we start to understand others we can make better choices.